THE SPACE BETWEEN AND WITHIN US

These days there’s an increasing distance that’s socially acceptable that’s become imperative when we meet friends and family. We sit on extreme corners of benches in parks, now the preferred place to meet occasionally, to catch up for a few, precious, stolen minutes, on what’s going on in our lives. It’s as if we are trying to bridge the space, necessary yet ironically encroaching, with words that float across to somehow reach beyond the listener’s ears.

Our exchanges are mostly upbeat, deliberately intended to forget, for that little time, the tribulations we face in just making through the days.  They comprise discussing happy times we have shared and sometimes of things we will do once we are out of this pandemic.  Of course, our optimism is blurred with scepticism of when exactly that would be.  But we talk about it nevertheless.  It’s uplifting!

Yet, there are times when one of us is going through a particularly rough time that, in what were normal circumstances would have had me reach out and comfort a friend with a hug or hold her hand in reassurance about the fleeting quality of time and its ability to heal. But that is not to be.  I can’t do that.  I must not touch.  All touch is not just discouraged, but detrimental for both of us.  At moments such as these, I feel very sad about what has happened to humankind where we are being denied the one strong, effective panacea we had to provide solace and comfort—the human touch!

Children growing up today cannot spend time with friends playing in parks.  They are continually reminded not to stand close to people, let alone greet them with a warm hug. Restricted mostly to their home space where they must interact with their school mates and teachers through a screen, they have had to learn to adapt and change very quickly. It’s ironic how, only a few months ago, we were debating the negative impact of too much screen time kids are exposed to and would harangue them about going out to play.  Today, parents are having to teach their kids quite the opposite.  It’s not easy on them either.  Parenthood today, simply because it’s put most of the burden of teaching kids academic and other skills, is more challenging.  No longer is it shared physically with teachers or outsourced to sports and extra-curricular institutions.  These are not safe to send your kids to!

Just how differently these children will grow up and how this pandemic will impact their growth bothers me. 

Adolescents have their own woes to deal with.  At an age when they are stepping out into the real work world, they must perform well from within the confines of their rooms (if they are fortunate enough to have one).  The week-ends are timid and different.  Their ability to meet and strike friendships has been corroded. When I think of all the experimentation and what I now consider outrageous things I did during their age I know that this is beyond being fair.  So, my heart wept when my daughter said to me, “Mom, I don’t know when I will be able to hug anyone other than you.”

I’d like to believe just like I said to her, “Soon, very soon.”